Talon News - Good Local News



The following excerpts are drawn from letters written by citizens applying for payments from a state welfare agency. (First published in “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer)

• I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

• I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

• Unless I get my money soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life.

• I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

• I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

• I want my money as quick as I can get it. I’ve been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

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