Talon News - Good Local News


Your Weekly Laugh


April 21, 2017

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “No way buddy, you’re too drunk.”

A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, “Give me a drink.”

Bartender says “No, man... I told you last time, you’re too drunk”

Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink. Again the bartender says, “You’re... too ...drunk”

The drunk scratches his head and says “Darn, I must be... the last two places I was in said the same thing.”


This guy goes into a doctor’s office. The doctor says, “Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?”

The guy shrugs and says, “Well I guess I’ll have the bad news first.”

“Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live,” the doctor replies.

The man is distraught, “24 hours to live? That’s horrible! What could be worse than that? What’s the VERY bad news?”

The doctor folds his hands and sighs, “The very bad news is...I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday

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